Notice: Undefined index: VisitorID in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 158
Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php:158) in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 163
Notice: Undefined index: version in /home/orange/public_html/class/misc/rssparser/rss_parse.inc on line 174
Notice: Undefined index: description in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 177
Notice: Undefined index: cgrecu in /home/orange/public_html/class/misc/rsswriter/XML2.class.php on line 109
Notice: Undefined index: LabelUrl in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 210
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Warning: file_get_contents(http://partners.mamma.com/OrangeFeedP?uagent=CCBot%2F1.0+%28%2Bhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.commoncrawl.org%2Fbot.html%29&sip=70.87.94.66&uip=38.107.191.88&uid=1169542&query=shopping) [function.file-get-contents]: failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 404 Not Found
in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 338
Notice: Undefined index: LabelUrl in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 240
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Warning: file_get_contents(http://partners.mamma.com/OrangeFeedP?uagent=CCBot%2F1.0+%28%2Bhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.commoncrawl.org%2Fbot.html%29&sip=70.87.94.66&uip=38.107.191.88&uid=1169542&query=credit) [function.file-get-contents]: failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 404 Not Found
in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 338
Notice: Undefined index: LabelUrl in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 240
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Warning: file_get_contents(http://partners.mamma.com/OrangeFeedP?uagent=CCBot%2F1.0+%28%2Bhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.commoncrawl.org%2Fbot.html%29&sip=70.87.94.66&uip=38.107.191.88&uid=1169542&query=hosting) [function.file-get-contents]: failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 404 Not Found
in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 338
Notice: Undefined index: LabelUrl in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 240
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: LabelUrl in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 210
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Warning: file_get_contents(http://partners.mamma.com/OrangeFeedP?uagent=CCBot%2F1.0+%28%2Bhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.commoncrawl.org%2Fbot.html%29&sip=70.87.94.66&uip=38.107.191.88&uid=1169542&query=auto) [function.file-get-contents]: failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 404 Not Found
in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 338
Notice: Undefined index: LabelUrl in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 240
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Warning: file_get_contents(http://partners.mamma.com/OrangeFeedP?uagent=CCBot%2F1.0+%28%2Bhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.commoncrawl.org%2Fbot.html%29&sip=70.87.94.66&uip=38.107.191.88&uid=1169542&query=christmas) [function.file-get-contents]: failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 404 Not Found
in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 338
Notice: Undefined index: LabelUrl in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 240
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Warning: file_get_contents(http://partners.mamma.com/OrangeFeedP?uagent=CCBot%2F1.0+%28%2Bhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.commoncrawl.org%2Fbot.html%29&sip=70.87.94.66&uip=38.107.191.88&uid=1169542&query=credit) [function.file-get-contents]: failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 404 Not Found
in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 338
Notice: Undefined index: LabelUrl in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 240
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Notice: Undefined index: LabelUrl in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 210
Notice: Undefined index: pubdate in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 283
Notice: Undefined index: date_timestamp in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 284
Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php:158) in /home/orange/public_html/class/content/feed.manager.class.php on line 312 The Showcase of Depravity
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/
http://mediawave.orangefeed.comDrew's Comment of the DayWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2005/12/drews-comment-of-day.html
(Original date: 12/11/05. Why this was drafted and not posted I don't know. I feel like maybe it was and I wanted to add to it but never did. Anyway here it is, another slice of Media Wave life for the 0 readers that remain checking this blog after 3 years of inactivity).<br /><br /><br />As some of you may know, we have are able to write notes on customers accounts which pop up in small windows, much like pop-up windows, in front of the account alerting the employee to important things about the customer, like whether or not they are hot, how annoying they are, a quick andicdote about a confrontation we got in with him or something stupid they did. It can also be used for business related notes as well.<br />Most of the comments consist of things like "I'd do her" or "maybe the most annoying person ever" or "if it was between this customer and _____ (enter customer name here), whose butt/tampon/butt tampon would you rather lick?" (those are always from Jeff).<br />Sometimes I'll go out of my way to brighten everyone's day with some extremely clever wit with a comment like if their name is Flicker I tend to write "Flicker? I hardly know her!"<br />Funny as that is regularly, it works especially well when the customer's name is something like Creamer and Harder, which are in fact real names. After 4 years I can safely say no one is tired of reading the same joke all the time, and I'm certainly not tired of writing it. Thus, similarly, I still have this blog.<br /><br />So today I saw a note that Drew wrote on the account of someone named Kobel that stuck me as particularly nerdy and Drewesque:<br /><br />"Interesting fact, Kobel is also the name of an enemy planet on Battlestar Galactica"<br /><br />God Crimminy, can you get any more nerdy than that??<br />Probably.<br /><br />-Jordan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-113435222358943405?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div><br/><a style="color:#0000CC; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=340_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5oaWdoc3RvY2tyZXR1cm5zLmNvbQ==">Today's Hot Stock Picks</a><br/>Become a better educated investor. Great investment opportunities, High returns on investment, these stocks are hidden gems. Outlined stocks can gain 50% - 300%+ Daily. Hot Stock tips can and will make you money, be a smart investor. Online stock trading armed with company news and stock information you can win big. Earn high returns on your investment with these high yielding stock tips, news and information. Online stock trading is easy and can earn you money. Make your money work for you.<br/><a style="color:#33CC00; font-weight: normal;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=340_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5oaWdoc3RvY2tyZXR1cm5zLmNvbQ=="></a><img src="http://OrangeFeed.com/image.php?pid=92_aid=340" border="0" width="1" height="1" /> <span style="color:#BBBBBB; font-family:verdana; font-size: 10pt;">Advertisements served by </span><a style="text-decoration:none;" href="#"><span style="color:#FF6600;font-weight: bold;">Orange</span><span style="color:#000000; font-weight: bold;">Feed</span></a>Showcase of Depravity: A new Micro Web Series on Youtube! we finally made it!Wed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2009/01/showcase-of-depravity-new-micro-web.html
Hey... It's been a while. I hope you're well. No, I guess I didn't realize it was this late, did I wake you? Are you just saying that, or did I really? Cause it sounds like I did. I mean, it is late - I did? Really? Ok, well I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you - I thought you'd be interested... No, I'm not blogging somewhere else, why would you say that? I'm still waiting for US to work... what? I don't know why I said that, I'm sorry.<br /><br />Anyway, so you remember that blog I wrote with that guy named Drew? About working at Media Wave? The Showcase of Depravity? <a href="http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vbWVkaWF3YXZlLmJsb2dzcG90LmNvbS8=" target="_self">mediawave.blogspot.com</a> ? Yea, that long winded one. I mean, I thought it was funny, but - OK FINE, you read it regularly, I get it. Whatever. The point IS...<br /><br />NOW IT'S A MICRO WEB SERIES (did i invent that term?) on YOUTUBE! as in, I have had videos of antics behind the counter at Media Wave that I documented on my cell phone camera sitting on my computer, and finally uploaded them to youtube.<br />It's organized under Showcase of Depravity heading, as it's own series.<br />So far there are 6 short episodes. There will be more when I upload them, but I have to let viewer anticipation build, of course.<br /><br />all 6 are on Youtube, but here are the first 3:<br />Episode 1: "C.R.E.A.M." jeff schools drew on everything around him, featuring jeff's trademark Party Ghost Yelp<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /><br />Episode 2: "hit me chump" jeff schools drew on the beat down<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Episode 3: "A Lesson Learnt" (this one is clearly the best) jeff schools drew on rape. oooh wha ah ah ah! <br /><br /><br />here is the link to the playlist where all 6 can be found:<br />http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=EBD4B463BB2C48C1<a href="http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL3ZpZXdfcGxheV9saXN0P3A9RUJENEI0NjNCQjJDNDhDMQ=="></a><br />or just at my youtube, www.youtube.com/jordanclifford<br /><br />ah, this stuff brings me back to the good ol' days, the ones where jeff dry-raped me every day.<br />they're mostly just 10 second videos of Drew and Jeff fighting, humping each other, or dancing. Sometimes all three. Giving it an potential demographinc of 3 people. It's mhad gey.<br />They're HORRIBLE quality, as they are taken from a 3 year old camera phone, then made bigger to fit youtube. deal with it.<br /><br /><br />There are a lot of unfinished Showcase of Depravity posts sitting as drafts here on blogspot, so maybe in the near future I'll work on finishing them and keeping this blog semi-alive.<br />for those interested in what I'm doing right now, well, I'm in Boston, actually working at an independent video store that is a doppleganger of Media Wave. It's even called Mike's Movies, just like the Mike's Pizza which Media Wave is right next to. is that a stretch of coincidence? I don't know, I don't control fate, it's just true. No, I didn't move to Boston to transfer video stores, I'm also in school still, so for now it's sort of excusable that I still work at a video store. Surprisingly, and disappointingly, there aren't nearly as many funny stories at my new job. There's a whole lot more PORN, and maybe I'll take my sporadic "Porn Title of the Week" text messages to the web, we'll see. Look forward to all that.<br /><br />-Jordan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-2679091139751484923?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Korn singer could've been a legend in death, instead just a whiner in lifeWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/10/korn.html
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/191/496297424_5518b76702.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 276px; height: 336px;" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/191/496297424_5518b76702.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><p class="MsoNormal">original date: 10/15/06</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br />I was reading old music news stories from earlier this summer and I came across the headline ?Korn Cancel Tour?, and being the dedicated Korn fan and jet set traveler that I am, I had to read on. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">"Korn were forced to kancel the rest of their European tour after singer Jonathan Davis was diagnosed with immune thrombokytopenik purpura, a blood disorder. 'If I kontinued to headbang onstage, I kould have had a brain hemorrhage and dropped dead on the stage", writes Davis on the band's web site.'" (Cs replaced with Ks by me, for fun)</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Did it ever occur to Jonathan Davis how fucking badass he would be if he died from headbanging? It would be his only chance at becoming a metal legend, nay, a metal god among men, and a really, really awesome one at that. Considering he is on is way, if not deep into obscurity, dying on stage from headbanging would really be the best possible thing that could happen in his career at this point.<br /><br />I can see the headline now,<br />"Metal Misspeller Dies From Rocking Too Hard,<br />North Americans and some Europeans About To Rock Salute Him", (kind of a long one, eh?)<br /><br />"Metal Band Sue Selves For Knowingly Contributing To Death of Singer With Annoying Moustache" (also long)<br /><br />"Headbanging Causes Death, Parents Of World Agree: 'We Told You So'"<br /><br />"Headbanging Causes Headaches, Death"<br /><br />"Korn Singer First To Die From Rocking, Hopefully Not The Last? (way harsh)</p><p class="MsoNormal">I would hope, however, in the event that this happens, that Korn try to continue their tour with the singer as if nothing happened, a la Weekend At Bernie's.<br /></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116096494280918146?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>American Idol Rejects folks to Media WaveWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2005/12/other-day-i-was-confronted-with-one-of.html
(original date: 12/23/05)<br /><br />The other day I was confronted with one of those quintessential awkward moments that defines what I think is so funny about serious people, one of those every day Seinfeldesque, if you will, kind of moments of that makes you absolutely question what goes on in someone's head.<br /><br />I was helping a middle aged woman and her son who was picking out video games to rent. I wasn't paying much attention to her; she probably wanted my shit or something because she hung around my register for a good amount of time while her son was searching for just the right video game that would allow him to experience sex and violence all in one , a quest that took about as much as was necessary for his mom to annoy me to my very core, right down to the back of my balllls.<br /><br />As she's standing there, awkwardly occupying the space in front of me for no reason, she starts to sing. And I do mean that exactly. Not hum, not whistle, not mumble a few lines of a song she heard on the radio, but SING...<br />Now, what is so universal about this behavior is that she is one of those people who has a semi-decent voice but is excessively confident about her vocal talents. Because she can barely carry a note to untrained ears, she honestly thinks she is treating all around her to her musical gift. We all know people like this who put in that extra effort to blatantly making their voice the center of whatever environment they're in, to make their voice sound gooder than the average singing-in-the-shower voice when singing a little random song that's rattling around their brain, thereby making the song sound FUCKING RIDICULOUS.<br /><br />To people with good voices, or even semi-good voices: No one but you is comfortable with you making a scene of your own voice, especially in completely random times and places, completely out of nowhere, while pretending not to notice that you're trying to belt out a mini opera while people are shopping or simply minding their own. Stand outside your own head for a minute, and you won't like what you hear.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-113435225561820503?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div><br/><a style="color:#0000CC; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=42_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5taWNoYWVsamZveC5vcmcv">Parkinson's Research</a><br/>The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research is committed to the aggressive pursuit of all ethical avenues of research promising improved therapies and ultimately a cure for people living with Parkinson's disease.
<br/><a style="color:#33CC00; font-weight: normal;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=42_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5taWNoYWVsamZveC5vcmcv"></a><img src="http://OrangeFeed.com/image.php?pid=92_aid=42" border="0" width="1" height="1" /> <span style="color:#BBBBBB; font-family:verdana; font-size: 10pt;">Advertisements served by </span><a style="text-decoration:none;" href="#"><span style="color:#FF6600;font-weight: bold;">Orange</span><span style="color:#000000; font-weight: bold;">Feed</span></a>Stupidity begets irritabilityWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/03/here-are-some-stupid-questions-i-just.html
(original date: 3/25/06)<br /><br />Here are some stupid questions I just don't understand someone asking, and the responses I'd like to give:<br />(almost every phone call is exactly like this, no exaggeration)<br /><br />Caller: Yea...<br />Me: You start a phone call with 'yea'?<br />Caller: ... I was wondering if I could ask you a question?<br />Me: .... yea, yes, of course, why else would you call? go ahead, you're already wasting my time.<br />Caller: Ok can you check if you have a movie?<br />Me: .... No, actually we have no way to tell which movies we have. It's based on random luck. No, I'm kidding, of course. Fuck you. Obviously I can check if I have a movie, which movie??<br />Caller: Ok, it's a really old movie, you probably don't have it<br />Me: It's weird how you knew we didn't have it but called anyway. You're right, though. After all, why would a movie rental store have old movies?<br />Caller: It's really old, you've probably never heard it.<br />Me: You're right again. Also, I can't spell, so it'll be hard trying to look it up on this thing they call a com-pu-ter?<br />Caller: It's called Con Air? Do you have it? You probably don't.<br />Me: You're probably right, so I don't have to look it up. Excellent. Thanks for calling?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-114333180671126143?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>My dad is inappropriateWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/03/here-comes-your-mother-put-your-pants.html
(original date: 3/2/06)<br /><br />"Here comes your mother, put your pants back on"<br /><br />I would say that this must seem hilarious when taken out of context, but there was no real context in the first place. I was sitting here with my pants on, it's just as random and out of context to me as it is to you.<br /><br />The mysteries of my father probably won't be unraveled until after his death when we discover some secret hidden boxes of letters and journals in the attic... But then again, I'm sure such a thing would probably only serve to confuse us further. And we don't have an attic, so that would be even more confusing. Meta.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-114134119807097853?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>He Said, She Said, They're Both MoronsWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/02/this-week-i-have-2-great-pictures-that.html
<p>(original date: 2/19/06. may have been a post on What The Balls, but i can't remember)</p><p><br /></p><p>This week I have 2 great pictures that go together in a piece I like to call "He Said, She Said, They're Both Morons"</p><p>I'll start with the first picture because I have no personal connection to it, other than personal admiration. </p><p><img src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/ihaveadicksoimaketherules.jpg" /></p><p>This is guy is an absolute genius. Look at that smirk spread across his face. I have no idea what the pass hanging around his neck is for, but it seems like it could be anything, from an Sailor Moon convention to an Anime porn convention, or anything in between.<br />You really can't walk out of the house into a public place wearing a shirt like that and not know you're going to be the subject of a few photographs. You've gotta be in a certain frame of mind to pull this off, and I don't think this guy has any other frames of mind outside of this one. God bless him. </p><p>I have to give credit to Mike (of Freezer Burn infamy) for giving me this random picture today, thus gelling this post together. </p><p>Now the complimentary picture to the first one, with a personal backstory:</p><p> </p><p>This is Felicia, she's a 15 year old girl that I stalk online. Well, that's the long story short. The long story long is the title of a porn I plan to make. Either way, at least makers of clever slogan T-shirts are concerned with gender equality, in some way, I guess. <img src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/feliciatshirt.jpg" /></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-114037980415634391?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div><br/><a style="color:#0000CC; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=45_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5VbmlxdWVXZWJEZXZlbG9wbWVudC5jb20vP3V0bV9zb3VyY2U9T3JhbmdlRmVlZCZ1dG1fbWVkaXVtPUxvb2tpbmclMkJ0byUyQmNyZWF0ZQ==">Web Design</a><br/>Looking to create a new website or blog?
Look no further than Unique Web Development.
Unique Web Development specializes in small to medium sized businesses with online and offline marketing efforts. Quality, Service, and Acheiving your objectives are our goal.
<br/><a style="color:#33CC00; font-weight: normal;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=45_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5VbmlxdWVXZWJEZXZlbG9wbWVudC5jb20vP3V0bV9zb3VyY2U9T3JhbmdlRmVlZCZ1dG1fbWVkaXVtPUxvb2tpbmclMkJ0byUyQmNyZWF0ZQ=="></a><img src="http://OrangeFeed.com/image.php?pid=92_aid=45" border="0" width="1" height="1" /> <span style="color:#BBBBBB; font-family:verdana; font-size: 10pt;">Advertisements served by </span><a style="text-decoration:none;" href="#"><span style="color:#FF6600;font-weight: bold;">Orange</span><span style="color:#000000; font-weight: bold;">Feed</span></a>Super Super Bowl Post - Hero of the Year: Ric Seaberg, from What The BallsWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/02/well-there-werent-any-nipples-exposed.html
<p>(Original date: 2/7/06. Definitely posted on What The Balls, but it deserves another skimming. In fact, it inspired a new correspondence/friendship with the wife of the following person...)</p><p><br /></p><p>Well, there weren't any nipples exposed at this year's Superbowl, so I made an effort to expose both of mine during the halftime show. It didn't quite upset the country like Janet's iron-clad protuberance, but maybe that's because it was in the privacy of my own home... although my dad was reasonably disturbed, so at least I got through to someone.</p><p>When trying to find an appropriate picture for the brilliant "Superbowl XL" piece that you just read, I ended up stumbling upon more than just an amazing superbowl picture, I found this weeks Random Picture of the Week as well... Or did the picture find me?<br />As you will see, there is so much more to this weeks picture than usual.</p><p>Here's the superbowl picture:</p><p><img src="http://www.ricseaberg.com/images/superbowl.jpg" /></p><p></p><p>and now from the very same personal webpage, The Random Picture of the Week:</p><p><img src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/pirates.jpg" /></p><p>There's more to this picture than you think.<br />First of all, forget the fact that you're looking at 2 pirates, one being in a wheelchair - the modern answer to the peg-legged pirate - awkwardly posed in front of the superbowl. Notice that each pirate hat has a different flamboyantly colored feather sticking out of it. They've got kind of a Star Wars/colored dueling light saber colors thing going on. Now, I've never known pirates to wear colored feathers out of their hats, but then again I've never known any pirates... unless you count those koreans that hijacked my ship in international waters, but I wouldn't say I really knew them.<br /><br /><br />Second, notice the dog calendar hanging on the door in the back. Classic pirate choice. Other typical content of pirate calendars: Wenches & Maids, Various Ports, Justin Timberlake. You might wonder what pirates need calendars for, but it's obviously so they can make down their birthdays.<br /><br />Most importantly, the guy in the picture. No, not the guy in the wheelchair. Get over it. The other guy.</p>This guy: <p></p> <p><img src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/ricbandon2.jpg" /><br />His name is <a href="http://blog.myspace.com/www.ricseaberg.com" target="_self">Ric Seaberg</a>. From his website bio:<br />A well known Portland daily newspaper columnist once described Ric Seaberg this way: "In a kinder and gentler world, he would have been a rock star."<br />Too bad we live in an unkind world, Seaberg. Apparently he was in some band in the 70's and now puts out his own independently distributed solo albums that are reminiscent not of Jimmy Buffet but of the Jimmy Buffett parody <a href="http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTI5MDM5MzQyOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMDg4MDk2._V1._SX485_SY337_.jpg" target="_self">Coconut Pete</a> from "Club Dread".<br />Also from his website bio:</p> <p>There are few who can match his wordsmithing talents (for example, he once rhymed maharaj with garage in a song), his lyrics are distinctive and memorable. Ric's songs "Didn't Say I Love You Right" and "We Talk About Cars" both appear on NPR's "Car Talk" compilation cds, available at <a href="http://www.blogger.com/%3CA%20href=%27http://www.cartalk.com"></a><a href="http://www.cartalk.com.as/"></a><a href="http://www.cartalk.com.../">www.cartalk.com</a>...</p> <p>As far as I can tell, this guy is awesome. He isn't just awesome because he writes song lyrics like this:</p> <p>"I took my wife's dry cleaning to the Goodwill store<br />What a nice donation...there was jubilation<br />When the cashmere sweaters that my wife adores<br />Hit the sweater hangers of the Goodwill store<br /><br />There they were in the hallway....bagged up for the trip<br />Twelve sweaters and dresses...Shoes bras and a slip<br />"Take this one to "Dress For Success"....go by there first!<br />Take the rest to charity...but not this one...<br />Which belongs to me!.....<br /><br />(Solo<br />Bridge)<br />I know that people make mistakes...everybody does<br />But this might call for suicide...cuz when I saw those tears she cried<br />I fought back the tears myself......actin' mighty tough<br />But she said she felt fine enough...<br />Since I could buy her all new stuff!"</p> <p>Uh... yea. Anyway, the other reason he rules is that he seems to have a handi-capable sidekick in a wheelchair. </p> <p><img src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/wheelchairshortpants.jpg" /></p> <p>Check out that genius train conductor. He's wearing shorts for crying out loud, have you ever seen that before? AND a big red hat. AND he willingly posed for this picture, which occured to someone as being a picture perfect moment.<br />Not to mention for some reason pictures of people enjoying, really enjoying the ride on the wheelchair platform makes me laugh. It's like a picture from an amusement park, or at the very least a county fair. You know it made you laugh too.</p> <p>For that, and reasons made clear in the following pictures, he is awesome:</p> <p><img src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/ricseabergbraids.jpg" /><br />This is Ric in his prime, sporting the rarely attempted braided mullet. I would've like to have known him then, damn. Anyone who can get that done to their hair and then put a picture of himself with it online is a man worth knowing.<br /><br />He's like a candle in the wind. He's also like a white guy with a braided mullet. Either way, it's beautiful.<br /></p> <p>Ever better than that, apparently this is where he lives: </p> <p><img src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/ricseabergabode.jpg" /></p> <p>With all the conveniences of modern day nomadic life and all the charm of the deep south. It is humble, but you'd be surprised how spacious it is inside (in fact there are pictures of the whole interior on his website). I hear he's waiting on the zoning commissioner to approve installing a mobile pool in the back yard. It will make the property value sky rocket.<br /></p> <p>And a taste of his recording legacy:</p> <p><img src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/ricseabergrhyminpieman.jpg" /></p> <p>This is one of his many professionally made album covers. Don't ask, because I have no fucking idea. "There Goes Rhymin' Pie Man" tells us a lot, though. For one thing, he has no time for the letter G. That's generally a good sign in song writers and pie men. A combination of the two is rarely seen. It also has a hometown feel to it, as if the title is a quote from the neighborhood kids who see him as they're playing stick ball and trading baseball cards or drugs or whatever kids do these days, as Rhymin' Pie Man walks by, presumably towards his Pie Shoppe (as it would be spelled), presumably rhymin' whilst walkin' (or skippin', as the situation sees fit). God I want to live in that made up world I just made up.<br /></p> <p>Check out his website <a href="http://www.ricseaberg.com/">www.ricseaberg.com</a> for more amazing pictures and weirdness.</p> <p>So there you have it folks, 3 posts in 1! - it began as one sentence and just wouldn't let me stop until Ric Seaberg was given proper justice.</p><br /><p>********************************************</p><br /><p><br /></p><p>For those interested, here is the lovely comment that Mrs. Seaberg posted on What The Balls.</p><p>Greetings Mr. What the Balls, thank you for giving me such pleasure today. You had me laughing til tears were running down my knees... Your blog entry about my dearly beloved is very witty and greatly appreciated here... we both laughed our asses off. I'm just so disappointed to learn you live in Conn., that's so far away. I wanted to invite you to dinner. And we would let you take a ride on the wheelchair lift too!!!!<br /><br />So we would love to meet you someday, maybe you'll make it to Portland. Look us up! Or maybe we'll pull our airstream up to your curb one day and let you come inside and take a look see.<br /><br />The world is a better place because your blog is in it... but I guess you knew that already.<br />Take care,<br />The wife </p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-113929235298174424?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Spring Breaaaak!Wed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2007/03/spring-breaaaak.html
I am back for spring break (SPRING BREEEEAAAK!!!!!!) and to celebrate my break from the arduous routine of drinking and casual sex as a college underclassman, I opted not to deal with the frustration of excessive drinking and reckless casual sex in Cancun but instead to return to my single favorite activity to spend my free time on: working at a video store!<br /><br />So here are a couple classic moments that happened while on the job today<br /><br /><br />Female Customer: I don't suppose you have any recommendations for me this week?<br />Drew: When I start menstruating I'll be in the mind frame to recommend movies you'd like<br /><br />Old Woman: Can you explain to me why there are so many versions of this movie?<br />Me: Well, these are all the same movie with multiple copies so that more than one copy can be rented out at a time, and that one is a completely different movie<br />Old Woman: Ah...<br /><br /><br />I'm only working 1 more day, but hopefully there will be more great things to report<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-4572006600505448423?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Happy Vagina Day from "Hey, I'm a dog"Wed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2007/02/happy-vagina-day-from-hey-im-dog.html
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/heyimadogvday.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.heyimadog.blogspot.com">"Hey,I'm a dog!" holiday cardz official website, bitch</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-5588053611043825785?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div><br/><a style="color:#0000CC; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=25_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hYmNmLm9yZy9tcy9zaG93cHJvZC5jZm0/JkRJRD04JkNBVElEPTEmT2JqZWN0R3JvdXBfSUQ9MQ==">American Breast Cancer Foundation</a><br/>Our mission is to provide a fighting chance to every life threatened by breast cancer no matter what age, race, sex, or financial challenge through screening assistance programs, research, and support for breast cancer patients and their families.
<br/><a style="color:#33CC00; font-weight: normal;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=25_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hYmNmLm9yZy9tcy9zaG93cHJvZC5jZm0/JkRJRD04JkNBVElEPTEmT2JqZWN0R3JvdXBfSUQ9MQ=="></a><img src="http://OrangeFeed.com/image.php?pid=92_aid=25" border="0" width="1" height="1" /> <span style="color:#BBBBBB; font-family:verdana; font-size: 10pt;">Advertisements served by </span><a style="text-decoration:none;" href="#"><span style="color:#FF6600;font-weight: bold;">Orange</span><span style="color:#000000; font-weight: bold;">Feed</span></a>Anna Nicole - An enigma in life, a legend in deathWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2007/02/anna-nicole-enigma-in-life-legend-in.html
Anna Nicole Smith, well-known health guru, feminist spokesperson, noted voluptuary and star of "Naked Gun: 33 1/3", was pronounced dead today, her body having finally caught up with her brain. Ironically, she died at the young age of 39, far too young to have collected and enjoyed the inherited fortune she spent the better part of her life seeking, targeting, having sex for, and battling legally over.<br />You may judge her, but I ask you: is a life of working hard in a corporate office for a fortune really any different, physically, mentally, or philosophically, than having sex with an 89-year-old man, even just once? They're equally as degrading, and an affair with an old man probably involves changing more diapers.<br /><br />It is not my intention to mock and shame a human being so soon after she died, so I will let her body of work (pun!!!!!) speak for itself.<br /><br />Anna Nicole, truly I wish it was your manager and not you, and if you remember The Anna Nicole Smith show like I do, you remember that her manager/best friend/secret admirerer would have easily layed his life down if he could, as he did his dignity on national television. He was the real life Smithers to her <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/945000/images/_945797_couple150.jpg" target="_self">Mr. Burns</a> (who, incidentally, she was actually married to for a time).<br />If the saying "it's better to burn out than to fade away" is true, it definitely applies here, but I don't think it was meant quite as literally.<br />Let her death not be in vain - boycott TrimSpa! It promises to make you thin, but what they don't tell you is that you won't just be as trim as a skeleton, you'll actually be one! Ahh! (Too soon)<br />In life she was an enigma, in death she is a legend...<br />Now she can finally be reunited in heaven with her one and only love, who has actually been in heaven longer than she's been fat, which is a long fucking time. Ouch.<br />RIP<br />(P.S. I'm sorry, Anna's ghost. I didn't mean any of it)<br />Also, here are some titles for the forthcoming Anna Nicole Smith biography that I came up with:<br />Shameless Plug: The Life and Times of Anna Nicole Smith (Double Meaning)<br />A Pig With Wings: How Anna Nicole Captured The Hearts and Minds of America<br />Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful, There Are So Many Other Reasons: The Unauthorized Autobiography of Anna Nicole Smith <br />A Voluptuary and the Oil Tycoon: The Classic American Love Story (I just really like the word "voluptuary")<br />Beauty and the Beast: The story of J. Howard Marshall II and Anna Nicole, Respectively<br />Like My Body? Want Some Money? And Other Things On Anna Nicole Smith's Gravestone<br />Beautiful Enigma: The Inspirational Life of Anna Nicole, Retarded Model<br />*keep checking back, I might come up with more<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-7920378507421847299?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>1/31 - NEVER FORGETWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2007/02/131-never-forget.html
<p><p>This post may be, as they say, "too soon", but I have to share with you the disturbing events of a day that will now live in comic infamy, Janurary 31, 2007.</p><p>As many of you may know, yesterday Boston finally (almost) experienced their own 9/11. I know that's a bold statement, so allow me to explain.</p><p>In the morning a phone call was made, presumably by a semi-retarded individual, alerting the officials of certain suspicious "boxes" and unidentified "packages" (sexual...) made up of complex, possibly Middle Eastern-style circuitry with blinking lights forming an undiscernable symbol were placed in strategic places all over the city and thought to be bombs. Well populated areas like subways, malls, popular stores, bridges, etc were targets of this massive terrorist plot.</p><p>The city of Boston, wasting no time and sparing no expense or - what's the word? - thoughts, SHUT DOWN nearly the entire city transportation - subways and highways were closed, and even schools were shut down; called in all its law enforcements and emergency departments - including help from the FBI, and possibly the coast guard, local college campus security personnel, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I" target="_self">the </a><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I" target="_self">LifeCall Alert emergency service</a>, D.A.R.E., the off-duty life guards, <a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/p/parametric/img/shriners.jpg" target="_self">the Shriners</a>, retired war veterans, and people eager to make citizens arrests. </p><p>It turned out that was looked like a harmless glowing sign was actually.... a harmless glowing sign! Eventually it was revealed to the bumbling masses of trained emergency workers from city to federal levels that these complex terrorist bombs were nothing more than simple battery-powered light up billboards (or "terror boards"), and the meticulously planned plot to blow up the entire city of Boston was nothing more than an "advertising campaign" (of destruction) for a crazy cartoon show called "Aqua Teen Hunger Force"(whatever that means!), or "Aqua Teen Terror Force" as it will henceforth be known. </p><p>That's right, you read that correctly. Boston shut itself down over a terrorist scare that was simply based on blinking lights, blinking lights that could have been identified as cartoon characters from anyone ages 9-45. These "bombs" were basically light boxes in the shape of "Mooninites" from the TV show, seen below.</p><p><img style="WIDTH: 362px; HEIGHT: 272px" height="450" alt="2007_01_mooninite2.jpg" src="http://www.gothamist.com/attachments/jen/2007_01_mooninite2.jpg" width="600" /></p><p>This cute little guy, clearly a character of some sort, and not, as it was originally believed, a letter in <a href="http://www.islamic-knowledge.com/Learning_Arabic/Alphabet_names_of_letters.JPG" target="_self">Arabic language</a>, caused Boston to shut down for an ENTIRE FUCKING DAY. </p><p>If you don't believe me - and you shouldn't because it's totally fucking insane -here is a picture of a police man, or a bomb squad officer, or maybe campus security, removing one of these potentially dangerous, definitely adorible "bombs". </p><p><img src="http://www.fantent.com/ftwp/wp-content/uploads/2007/01/10891659_400x300.jpg" /></p><p>Is this not the silliest thing you've ever seen?</p><p>The police were quoted as saying "Whoever did this ? whether it be kids or adults ? if they think it's funny, I think they'll soon learn it's not that much of a humorous situation."<br />Well put. Clearly this person has a great sense of humor, but oh, how very wrong they are. This rivals the <a href="http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&FriendID=1055543&blogMonth=12&blogDay=6&blogYear=2006" target="_self">McDonald's impersonator scam</a> as the funniest thing to happen... ever. But wait, there's more...</p><p>The best part is that this ad campaign had been in place for TWO to THREE WEEKS before anyone noticed it in Boston, AND NINE other cities! New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Austin, San Francisco, and Philadelphia. Yet not even New York, a city that was actually attacked by terrorists and is constantly on high alert reacted, and somehow Boston was the only one that even acknowledged these 2D cartoon characters in any way, let alone put the city on lockdown. This suggests the terrorists are trickier than we thought.</p><p>The police justified their outrageous misreading and irresponsible (and costly) overreaction to blinking lights in context of the "post-9/11 world", saying that they have to "treat it like what it is". Other police policies include "I think, therefore I am" and "where ever you go, there you are".</p><p>The confusion is reasonable, though. These "Mooninites" could easily be a confused with a mystical sect of Islam, and the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" sounds very much like a possible name for a radical socialist religious communist terrorism extremist group. In fact, there is still no definite proof that it is not. </p><p>It was reported that Boston officials had to finally "accept the fact" that it was an ad campaign and not a terrorist attack, meaning that they had already followed several leads and had to settle on the grim, disappointing reality. This was a difficult thing for them to do considering that they were counting on this to finally gain Boston the status as "New York #2", or "Lil' NYC". This was going to be their 9/11! A terrorist attack may be terrible, but let's just say you really feel important as a city if someone cares enough to bomb you. Next time, guys.</p><p>The Governor claimed that the city acted vigilantely, and taking a cue from him I went out with several vigilante groups to take brutal action against all possible Mooninites, terrorist or otherwise, and any other kind of alien we could find, including human immigrants, just to be on the safe side. Right or wrong, there have been no more bomb scares since then, so I think we're doing a pretty good job.</p><p>In addition to my violent actions, I've also started a watch group: CCACTUS - Concerned Citizens Against Cartoon Terrorism in the United States. So far we've been very effective in stopping this massive problem, and hopefully our petitioning and lobbying will change the agenda of the current administration to focus on this growing threat to our freedom.</p><p>Of course, this reminds us of the horrible "Lite Brite" scare of the 1980's during which demonic "lights on a board" (quite similar to those used in this "ad campaign", perhaps by the same terrorists) mesmerized and brainwashed the nation's children. It tore this country apart, just as these "harmless" "cartoons" are doing now.</p><p>The worst part of this whole insanity is that <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,249110,00.html" target="_self">people actually got arrested</a> for their marketing efforts. THEY ACTUALLY ARRESTED PEOPLE FOR THIS! The police claimed they wanted to put them in jail because surely "prosecution will have a deterant effect". Yes, because putting marketing people in jail for "hoax bombs" which were neither "hoax" nor "bombs" and had no intention of being either, will absolutely put a stop to any future bombing attemtps and/or creative marketing campaigns.</p><p>The important thing is that we are all safe and that no one was killed - that is, except for those in need of emergency assistance or law protection that were denied it while everyone was staring at blinking light boxes. </p><p>1/31 - NEVER FORGET!</p><p>Other threats to look out for:</p><p>1.Cross walks</p><p><img src="http://www.cybergrain.com/images/graffiti/image006.jpg" /></p><p>2. <a href="http://www.cityofboston.gov/mayor/" target="_self">Idiots</a></p><p><img src="http://www.bu.edu/bridge/archive/2002/11-22/photos/UT0126945.jpg" /></p><p></p><p>Most importantly, I'm a star! I recently became involved, both professionally and sexually, with a "comedy" "troupe" at Emerson who are in turn involved a comedy show called <a href="http://blog.myspace.com/www.zebroshow.com" target="_self">ZEBRO</a>. They make videos and do sketches. As a comedy troupe in Boston sitting through the most outrageously comical thing to ever happen in Boston (other than the Tea Party and the Red Sox), it was decided that it was our duty to respond with an angry, immature, foul-mouthed video, and I'm in it to some degree. </p><p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G-D0F4Q9yk">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G-D0F4Q9yk</a></p><p><br /></p><p>We worked for 4 hours compiling jokes, extended clips of the most ridiculous news footage (all of them taking this so completely seriously), wild rants and nudity, and it was boiled down to a tightly loose 4 minutes, mostly composed of news clips. Many, many jokes were cut out for the sake of time, or because they weren't funny, and what's left is a lot of yelling, which what anyone wants in a video.<br /><br />I'll say in my defense that the camera adds 35 pounds, as opposed to the standard 10 that people think (it changes for different people, depending on the level of their self-delusion).</p><p>1/31 - NEVER FORGET!</p><p></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-8265288260347973179?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>The Long, Hard, Deep GoodbyeWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2007/01/dear-loyal-readers-disloyal-readers.html
Dear loyal readers, disloyal readers, customers who unknowingly stumbled upon this blog looking for internet coupons (and/or porn) and became instant fans, and customers who came upon this incendiary website looking for contact information of the owner in order to write annoying complaint letters about the employees only to find blog posts seemingly written about them,<br /><br />It is the end of an era. The three most important men in the world - James Brown, Gerald Ford and Saddam Hussein - have all died recently, and as they are each my contemporaries and my idols (in their own unique ways), I too will be making a passage onto a better place. You could say that like Saddam, and perhaps even James Brown, where I am going will likely be filled with at least 72 virgins. At least in the freshman class, anyway. That's right - I'm going to college.<br /><br />I planned out the last 5 years of my life perfectly: After high school, work at the same job long enough to kill my spirit, and then, after saving just enough money to not be able to afford anything, and at the height of my popularity in Fairfield (socially, politically and sexually), uproot myself and move to a new, far more expensive city to be old enough as an undergraduate student for some of my female classmates to actually exclaim "gross! That's like, statutory rape or something. Look at his beard... Is he a professor?". I guess statutory is better than date rape, which they will surely be willingly engage in later that night, as will I.<br /><br />My reign of terror and unwelcome sexual advances at The Wave is over... at least until I finally realize what a scam college is and come back to earn some extra money for my newly developed drug habit. Working for "The Man" again will surely be against my newly developed anti-establishment, socialist economic and political views, but it can't hurt my newly developed credit card debt. What I'm saying, basically, is that college is about positive new developments.<br /><br />This is just a preliminary message to let everyone know what I'm doing and why I haven't posted much in a while. Hopefully while I'm not using all my creative (and sexual) juices at the wave, I can focus them on posting more instead of working, and instead of doing school work.For the record, and so you don't have to keep asking, I'll be there at school for sexual experimentation and writing. This often makes people ask "Really? You? Writing? You can't spell, and you can barely speak in full sentences... OOOKK.. WHATEVER! Good luck with that...". I have no answer for you, or your rude attitude. I lost a bet where the stakes were enrolling in a college for writing, so...<br /><br />I have not yet decided what will come of The Showcase of Depravity; it's power is beyond my control. It's very much like malevolent computer <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THulG8Q7plU">HAL 9000</a> , and for that matter, my father, in that it would surely kill me before I kill it. In fact, both Blogger and my father remind me of this constantly on a weekly basis through email updates.<br /><br />Until then, do yourself a favor and go through the archives; relive all the things you loved about this motley crew of rag tag ragamuffins and their rantings about unbelievably stupid customers. For now, let it be a relic of a successful project on failure (or a failure project on success, depending on how you look at my time at The Wave), which has a defined beginning and ending.<br /><br />I assure you there will be more posts coming, including unfinished posts from days past (including a ridiculously late Halloween post) and brand new happenings on the store front (including hilariously innocent vandalism of the store wall's mural).<br /><br />As always, I desperately request that you read my other "blog", <a href="http://blog.myspace.com/whattheballs">What The Balls?</a>.<br />Also, check out Drew's blog about life as an out-of-the-closet metrosexual, <a href="http://www.zombiepolitics.blogspot.com/">Zombie Politics</a>. It's sure to offend and titillate.<br /><br />Here is the "Hey, I'm a dog" card I imagine Media Wave would have sent me, had they done anything for my departure at all.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_Cqx3riiCF6o/RarfxhQU0vI/AAAAAAAAAAc/hChKdi0aZTM/s1600-h/hey+i%27m+a+dog+thanks+for+not+suing+media+wave.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_Cqx3riiCF6o/RarfxhQU0vI/AAAAAAAAAAc/hChKdi0aZTM/s400/hey+i%27m+a+dog+thanks+for+not+suing+media+wave.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5020070776491266802" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I leave The Wave as I came: questioning my sexuality, my belief in God, how people so stupid can be so rich, and ready for a fight.<br /><br />-Jordan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116818794103798071?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div><br/><a style="color:#0000CC; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=333_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5oaWdoc3RvY2tyZXR1cm5zLmNvbQ==">Today's Hot Stock Picks</a><br/>Become a better educated investor. Great investment opportunities, High returns on investment, these stocks are hidden gems. Outlined stocks can gain 50% - 300%+ Daily. Hot Stock tips can and will make you money, be a smart investor. Online stock trading armed with company news and stock information you can win big. Earn high returns on your investment with these high yielding stock tips, news and information. Online stock trading is easy and can earn you money. Make your money work for you.<br/><a style="color:#33CC00; font-weight: normal;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=333_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5oaWdoc3RvY2tyZXR1cm5zLmNvbQ=="></a><img src="http://OrangeFeed.com/image.php?pid=92_aid=333" border="0" width="1" height="1" /> <span style="color:#BBBBBB; font-family:verdana; font-size: 10pt;">Advertisements served by </span><a style="text-decoration:none;" href="#"><span style="color:#FF6600;font-weight: bold;">Orange</span><span style="color:#000000; font-weight: bold;">Feed</span></a>What Would Chev Chelios Watch?Wed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2007/01/what-would-chev-chelios-watch.html
This week I decided to be, as a customer trying to be cute said, "different" with my Employee Picks section. I decided, as you will read, that since I won't be around much to change up my picks, I might as well dedicate it to perhaps the single greatest movie experience known to man. No, I don't mean The Godfather, Jurassic Park or even The Stupids. I printed out a little write up to explain my wild, boundary-breaking choice, and here it is:<br /><br /><p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">Instead of recommending cult classics, lesser known sleepers, off-beat comedies and movies with the word ?Teen? in the title, I am choosing to use my power of influence of my Picks Section to promote the best movie ever made, ever: ?CRANK?. Rent ?Crank? now. </p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">Reasons why: </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in; font-weight: bold;">1. It?s called CRANK, for obvious reasons, and reasons not so obvious that will be revealed while the thrilling plot unravels. All other enticing plot points must be withheld for the sake of the full throttle Crank experience</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in; font-weight: bold;">2. It?s what ?Snakes On A Plane? should have been, but without the hype or the snakes</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in; font-weight: bold;">3. Because I told you to, that?s why.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in; font-weight: bold;"> </p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">Warning: This film will literally blow your mind, in both good and medically adverse ways, so it?s best to watch it while wearing a helmet or medical gauze. The affect of this film is so great that it might cause you to start hating your family members, and make you want to punch someone just for the thrill of it. Pregnant women should not view this film. It contains a level of ridiculous adrenaline so high that it would cause birth defects, and that?s if the baby doesn?t punch it?s way out from becoming a man so quickly just by absorbing what doctors refer to as ??Crank? waves?. People opposed to product placement, gratuitous sex and violence (if there is such a thing) should not view ?Crank? unless they want to become a totally different person, but if you are opposed to gratuitous sex and violence, you probably aren?t looking at my picks section.</p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">Best of luck in your new, post-?Crank? life</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 3.5in; text-indent: 0.5in;">-Jordan</p><br /><br />That's just the kind of thing you get at Media Wave - asshole clerks writing essays to tell you what to watch. Oh well. I hope customers come away from this forgetting the phrase "What Would Jesus Do?" and replacing it with the more practical and cocaine-addled "What Would <a href="http://www.fearsmag.com/modules/Reviews/images/movie/crank/01_lrg.jpg">Chev Chelios</a> Do?"<br /><br />-Jordan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-3550001726904738679?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Santa? Give me a breakWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2007/01/santa-give-me-break.html
Gift certificates to Media Wave are a popular way to show your kids you understand them on a personal level, while proving that the true meaning of Christmas isn't about gifts or money but rather about love - a gesture best made with a generic gift card for exactly $20 dollars.<br /><br />Aside from my fundamental problems with the idea of gift cards (although, when it comes to any other aspect of life, my usual motto is: the less thought and effort, the better), what made me laugh this gift season more than anything else was the following transaction between myself and an optimistic if not over zealous holiday shopper.<br /><br />Me: How much would you like the gift certificate for?<br />Customer: Twenty dollars please<br />Me: Perfect. And is there anything else I should write on it?<br />Customer: put "from Santa"<br />Me: You know it says "Media Wave in Fairfield" right there on it, and not "The North Pole", right?<br />Customer: Yea, that's fine.<br /><br />Now, trying to get your kids to believe that there is 1 old fat man who brings dozens of expensive toys that he and some elves have somehow made by hand in his workshop - toys these kids see on TV and in toy stores clearly made by brand manufacturers - to millions, if not billions of kids (but only the good ones), on one day and only one day once a year is already hard enough.<br /><br />To think Santa even has enough energy for this exhausting feat of agility, despite his many degenerative health disorders from his morbid obesity and the fact that he is at least 500 years old and lives on a diet of milk and cookies, is ridiculous. Believe me, the people at Cookie Crisp cereal are lying - cookies, while delicious, are not so much nutritious, and do not provide you with what you need for a day's work.<br /><br />Then parents expect their kids to believe that this one hard-working superman toymaker also happens to be available for 2 weeks before Christmas to appear in their very own local shopping mall, and logically, no one else's.<br /><br />And on top of all that, they try to pass off a gift certificate for a store in their own town as being from Santa, despite how it is obviously sold exclusively to Media Wave customers. As if before he stopped of at little Timmy Smith's house, Santa went into the local video store and asked for a gift certificate. "It was the only thing on Timmy's list this year, and he was a very good boy", Santa would say.<br /><br />But I guess it works, and that's what's wrong our nations children - they're dumbasses, and so are their parents. There I said it.<br /><br />-Jordan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116795197696840319?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Happy New Year CardWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2007/01/happy-new-year-card.html
Hey everyone<br />A new one from my on going series of Cardz Wit At'tude, otherwise known as the "Hey, I'm a dog" series of generic holiday cards. Happy New Year, yall!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/4466/705/1600/92248/happy%20new%20years%20dog%202%20final.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/4466/705/400/332252/happy%20new%20years%20dog%202%20final.png" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />This and all other cards from this series are available at<a href="http://heyimadog.blogspot.com/"> www.heyimadog.blogspot.com</a>, the official Hey, I'm a dog! site. Enjoy, and feel free (please, I beg you) to spread it to your friends, leave them as comments on myspace, print them out for your friends and family, give them to the homeless (it's the least you can do). But if you do, try to post a link to any of my 3 websites (this one, blog.myspace.com/whattheballs, or www.heyimadog.blogspot.com)<br /><br />Thanks. Safe carding.<br /><br />-Jordan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116788295072880475?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div><br/><a style="color:#0000CC; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=432_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5VbmlxdWVXZWJEZXZlbG9wbWVudC5jb20vP3V0bV9zb3VyY2U9T3JhbmdlRmVlZCZ1dG1fbWVkaXVtPVZhbmNvdXZlciUyQldlYiUyQkRlc2lnbg==">Vancouver Web Design</a><br/>Bring your business to the internet! Click our ad to check out our portfolio!<br/><a style="color:#33CC00; font-weight: normal;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=432_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5VbmlxdWVXZWJEZXZlbG9wbWVudC5jb20vP3V0bV9zb3VyY2U9T3JhbmdlRmVlZCZ1dG1fbWVkaXVtPVZhbmNvdXZlciUyQldlYiUyQkRlc2lnbg=="></a><img src="http://OrangeFeed.com/image.php?pid=92_aid=432" border="0" width="1" height="1" /> <span style="color:#BBBBBB; font-family:verdana; font-size: 10pt;">Advertisements served by </span><a style="text-decoration:none;" href="#"><span style="color:#FF6600;font-weight: bold;">Orange</span><span style="color:#000000; font-weight: bold;">Feed</span></a>Trucker? I Hardly Know 'erWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/12/trucker-i-hardly-know-er.html
We get many customers that stumble in drunk, and therefore finally able to appreciate classics such as <a href="http://www.canmag.com/images/front/movies20063/littleman2.jpg">"Little Man"</a>, <a href="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/630585548X.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg">"Dinosaur Valley Girls"</a>, movies from the continuing series of "<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0808146/">American Pie Presents</a>" and "<a href="http://www.charles-shaughnessy.com/dormdaze2posterlg.jpg">National Lampoon's...</a>", and continued appreciation of "Family Guy". The only difference between the jolly juicers stumbling out of a bar and the ones we get stumbling in is that our drunkards stumble in at 10 am (which is usually before we get there to open, and we are, generally speaking, sober). <br /><br />One such customers walked in this morning and slurred through the words that sounded something like "Ehhh, you got any new movies?? the one with <a href="http://docs.voxeo.com/images/tutorials/marky.jpg">Marky Mark?</a>"<br /><br />Based on my experience translating idiots, I surmised that he wanted "Invincible," and to my surprise he actually had the required drivers license and credit card that it takes to open a rental account. So what's the significance of this story? This isn't any ordinary disheveled wine-o renting Mark Wahlberg movies (if I had a dime for every one...). This wine-o was a commercial truck driver. There's nothing like knowing that people responsible for hauling around tons of potentially murderous steel (especially if the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091499/">truck is possessed</a>, which it almost certainly is) at very high and reckless speeds aren't only scruffy and burly, but also drunk.<br />But that isn't the best part at all. The best part, like all things in life and trucking, is much simpler. This drunk trucker's last name is KLUTCH. <br />No joke. I'd say you can't make this stuff up, but you can, and Hollywood script writers often do.<br /><br />So knowing the awesomeness of a drunk trucker named KLUTCH, the real question now (which Drew keenly pointed out) is: Is he still drunk from last night, or is he newly drunk this morning? And which one makes him cooler?<br /><br />-Jordan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116715126444355088?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>We only followed the instructions, officer.Wed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/12/we-only-followed-instructions-officer.html
We opened the store this morning to find a note on the counter that mysteriously read:<br /><br />"-White kidnapped 2 months, 2 rednecks, 8 miles. Televised.<br /><br />-Black girl kidnapped 45 minutes, either way out"<br /><br />We have no idea what this means, but we assumed it was a set of instructions. We're the 2 rednecks, so it all adds up. Look for us on the evening news, I guess.<br /><br />-Jordan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116715148214389269?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Merry Christmas, ChristiansWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/12/merry-christmas-christians.html
New from my on going series of "Hey, I'm a dog!" generic holiday cards...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/marryxmasdog1.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 411px; height: 354px;" src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/marryxmasdog1.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />They will be available for purchase soon. Check back.<br /><br />-Jordan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116715213970848190?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div><br/><a style="color:#0000CC; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=45_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5VbmlxdWVXZWJEZXZlbG9wbWVudC5jb20vP3V0bV9zb3VyY2U9T3JhbmdlRmVlZCZ1dG1fbWVkaXVtPUxvb2tpbmclMkJ0byUyQmNyZWF0ZQ==">Web Design</a><br/>Looking to create a new website or blog?
Look no further than Unique Web Development.
Unique Web Development specializes in small to medium sized businesses with online and offline marketing efforts. Quality, Service, and Acheiving your objectives are our goal.
<br/><a style="color:#33CC00; font-weight: normal;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=45_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5VbmlxdWVXZWJEZXZlbG9wbWVudC5jb20vP3V0bV9zb3VyY2U9T3JhbmdlRmVlZCZ1dG1fbWVkaXVtPUxvb2tpbmclMkJ0byUyQmNyZWF0ZQ=="></a><img src="http://OrangeFeed.com/image.php?pid=92_aid=45" border="0" width="1" height="1" /> <span style="color:#BBBBBB; font-family:verdana; font-size: 10pt;">Advertisements served by </span><a style="text-decoration:none;" href="#"><span style="color:#FF6600;font-weight: bold;">Orange</span><span style="color:#000000; font-weight: bold;">Feed</span></a>Broads, right?Wed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/12/broads-right.html
From time to time we get customers who are walking jokes, leaving us with very little effort to put into making jokes out of them on the internet. <br /><br />The other day this woman comes in with her boyfriend to rent the next installment of "Lost" on DVD, which they rent every single day (seems like more of a commitment than just watching it while it's on once a week, but hey - live and let Lost). Nothing funny about this... until her boyfriend opens his mouth. In an attempt to make a joke (I'm guessing, and I commend him for trying to break the awkward silence that often occurs between customers and employees), he says in his deep guido-style brooklyn-fuckin'-accent, <br />"if that ain't the right disc, I'm gowna moyder ya!" <br />At this point it should be noted that he is wearing a <a href="http://www.crosscanvas.com/images/lisensed%20prouduts/nascar/checkered%20flag/Ck-Flag-Fanny-Pack.jpg">fanny pack</a>.<br /><br />Then, feeling the need to defend himself for watching Lost (or for wearing a fanny pack?), he gives us the classic "Chicks, right?" speech.<br />"ayy, you start dating a broad you gotta start watchin what she watches, right?" (Which definitely deserved a "Badda-bing!" afterwards)<br />We all laugh, because it's funny.... though we're laughing at him, not with him.<br />Then she chimes in,<br />"it could be worse, I could be a stripper"<br />.... no, no you couldn't.<br /><br />Badda-Bing!<br /><br />-Jordan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116344473594465566?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A Lazy Man's Thanksgiving PostWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/11/lazy-mans-thanksgiving-post.html
As a lazy man, I'm giving you a lazy man's Thanksgiving post.<br />This is from last year. Check it out, you turkey.<br /><a href="http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2005/11/im-not-chicken-youre-turkey.html">I'm not a turkey, you're a turkey!</a><br /><br />Here's a preview:<br /><br />This is a picture of my ball sack... er, a turkey. Same diff.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/turkey.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/turkey.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Happy Thanksgiving, even to the Jews... but not to the Native Americans. We try not to bring up that whole slaughter of their race thingy.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116438317140486747?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Debit or Credit?, Widescreen or Fullscreen? A: you're an idiotWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/11/debit-or-credit-widescreen-or.html
A couple of rants for today:<br /><br />1. When you had me a debit/credit card and I ask you "Would you like to use this as debit or credit?" and you respond "Debit... or credit", it's not answering my question, it's just telling me that you're a dumb ass. I know that it can be used for either function, that's why I asked. Now I have ask the question again: "OK, which one would you like to use?". Thanks though.<br /><br />2. The widescreen/fullscreen question. I'm fine with having to explain the differences of the two screen formats and explaining their advantages and disadvantages, but not when it goes like this:<br /><br />Customer: "should I get wide or full?"<br />Me: "Well, let me explain both formats to you and then tell you why you should get widescreen..... (enter explanation here). So which one would you like?<br />Customer: "Well, I have a widescreen TV, so does that mean I should get widescreen?"<br />Me: "Are you fucking kidding me? What do you think it means? GOD DAMNIT PEOPLE"<br /><br />Am I wrong in assuming that if you know that you have a "WIDESCREEN" TV that the answer to the widescreen or fullscreen question would automatically be answered?<br /><br />Fucking hell.<br /><br />-Jordan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116397337115152922?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div><br/><a style="color:#0000CC; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=25_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hYmNmLm9yZy9tcy9zaG93cHJvZC5jZm0/JkRJRD04JkNBVElEPTEmT2JqZWN0R3JvdXBfSUQ9MQ==">American Breast Cancer Foundation</a><br/>Our mission is to provide a fighting chance to every life threatened by breast cancer no matter what age, race, sex, or financial challenge through screening assistance programs, research, and support for breast cancer patients and their families.
<br/><a style="color:#33CC00; font-weight: normal;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=25_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hYmNmLm9yZy9tcy9zaG93cHJvZC5jZm0/JkRJRD04JkNBVElEPTEmT2JqZWN0R3JvdXBfSUQ9MQ=="></a><img src="http://OrangeFeed.com/image.php?pid=92_aid=25" border="0" width="1" height="1" /> <span style="color:#BBBBBB; font-family:verdana; font-size: 10pt;">Advertisements served by </span><a style="text-decoration:none;" href="#"><span style="color:#FF6600;font-weight: bold;">Orange</span><span style="color:#000000; font-weight: bold;">Feed</span></a>Coyote Ugly: A New Kind of Table Top MannersWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/11/coyote-ugly-new-kind-of-table-top.html
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/Coyote-Ugly-movie-08.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/JordanClifford/Coyote-Ugly-movie-08.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Quote of the Day:<br /><br />A young girl brings up the DVD box for Coyote Ugly to show her mother, her mother says "I danced on that bar!"<br /><br /><br /><br />Then they rented it together. Because after all, it's better for a young girl to see objectification of women if her mother is there to put in the proper persepctive for her to understand... Even if that perspective is one of a bar table dancer. Gotta love <a href="http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/07/cool-mom-alert.html">"Cool Moms" </a><br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116329707242474605?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>(pre)Halloween Quote #2Wed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/10/prehalloween-quote-2.html
I've never quite gone into any depth about our UPS man, but suffice it to say that the stereotypical "crazy postman" is not exclusive to the federal postal service, and may even be redefined by our UPS man. I guess if your job forced you to wear officially issued matching brown socks every day, you might be a little insane too; but which came first: the chicken or the egg?<br />For examples of his utterly strange, sociopathic tendencies, here are a few short summaries of things he's told us:<br /><br />-Through some sort of pervert- grapevine, we became aware that he likes <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=scat">scheisser (or "scat") porn</a>. Fortunately we don't rent that kind of material... yet.<br />-He went on some kind of sky-diving-for-Jesus vacation, which he video taped and had us make copies of.<br />-His other vacation was to visit the site of the Oklahoma City bombing, which he enjoyed so much that he made it the destination of at least one other vacation trip. Come on, that's pretty demented.<br /><br />So today he came in and said "I hate Halloween, all the kids running around... This year I'm going to dress up as Mark Foley."<br />For those out of the loop, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Foley#Congressional_page_scandal_and_resignation">Mark Foley</a> is the former U.S Representative who sent dirty instant messanges to young boys (and then blamed his behavior on "alcoholism". Yea, you and me both, buddy). It would be a pretty funny joke/costume, if he had said it with any hint of a sense of humor. Though now I am thinking about how funny it would be to use that as a costume tomorrow when all of Fairfield's tiny costumed kids walk down Post Road, or "Safety Street" as it is being promoted as for Halloween, to trick-or-treat, with me standing there handing out candy in a suit.<br />When parents say, "Well aren't you dressed nicely! Who are you supposed to be?"<br />and I say "Former Representative Mark Foley", the look on their faces would be priceless. And by priceless, I mean costly, since it would probably cost me my job.<br /><br />That doesn't mean I won't do it... come by tomorrow to see.<br /><br />-Jordan<br /><br /><a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=scat"> </a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116224496188301518?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>(pre)Halloween QuoteWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
http://mediawave.blogspot.com/2006/10/prehalloween-quote.html
(pre)Halloween quote of the day:<br /><br />Cute Little Boy: "I'm dressing up as a Power Ranger!"<br />Me: "Awesome! Which one? The Blue Ranger?" (cause that was the white guy in the show)<br />Cute Little Boy: "The Forest Green Ranger!"<br />Me: "Forest Green? Seriously? That's a ranger? Wow, that's pretty gay"<br /><br />Forest Green? Did they really run out of colors? What race is forest green supposed to represent, the Irish? Give me a break.<br /><br />Also, this dude just came in with gold earrings on each ear that cover almost his entire earlobe - not unlike 4-finger rings - that say "FREAKY" in fancy letters. If I had any money, that's how I would spend it.<br /><br />-Jordan<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9595440-116213897432665414?l=mediawave.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div><br/><a style="color:#0000CC; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=333_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5oaWdoc3RvY2tyZXR1cm5zLmNvbQ==">Today's Hot Stock Picks</a><br/>Become a better educated investor. Great investment opportunities, High returns on investment, these stocks are hidden gems. Outlined stocks can gain 50% - 300%+ Daily. Hot Stock tips can and will make you money, be a smart investor. Online stock trading armed with company news and stock information you can win big. Earn high returns on your investment with these high yielding stock tips, news and information. Online stock trading is easy and can earn you money. Make your money work for you.<br/><a style="color:#33CC00; font-weight: normal;" href="http://OrangeFeed.com/redirect.php?kid=333_pid=92_url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5oaWdoc3RvY2tyZXR1cm5zLmNvbQ=="></a><img src="http://OrangeFeed.com/image.php?pid=92_aid=333" border="0" width="1" height="1" /> <span style="color:#BBBBBB; font-family:verdana; font-size: 10pt;">Advertisements served by </span><a style="text-decoration:none;" href="#"><span style="color:#FF6600;font-weight: bold;">Orange</span><span style="color:#000000; font-weight: bold;">Feed</span></a>